A Poem To Moms

My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place.

'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D.'

Mom's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
At the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore..

I've called and checked with C.S.D ...
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C..S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best. '

I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.'

He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C .S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?'

Send to all people that have teenagers, have already raised
teenagers,have children who will soon be teenagers or those
who will be
parents some day OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH

MOM (Mean Old Mother)

Freedom

We as Americans have freedom of religion. Which not only means that people have every right to believe what they wanna believe. But also means that people are gonna disagree with each other when it comes to beliefs. Which makes it even more important for anyone to be laid back about their beliefs & also be understanding about other people's beliefs. Nobody should ever let their beliefs make them be so sensitive towards the facts. Because if someone keeps getting bothered by the things that they believe to be inappropriate but are also a part of reality, then those people are gonna end up getting bothered a lot in their lives. And the only one who's gonna make people feel that way is the specific individual who does feel that way. Being sensitive towards the facts is an emotionally unhealthy thing for anyone to do to themselves. But especially in a country where people have every right to believe what they wanna believe. On that note, the only time that anyone should look at dirty words & topics as being negative things is when those things get used in an abusive way. Because not only do dirty words & topics add comedy to situations. But also with some people, using dirty words & talking about the dirty topics are parts of some of the personalities that this world has in it. So in other words, those are parts of who some people are & the right thing to do is accept that.

Random pieces of advice for life

1. Never take anything too seriously, because life is way too short.

2. Always try to find humor in any situation possible (especially in a situation that might make you feel uncomfortable).

3. Don't ever let your beliefs make you be so sensitive towards the facts. Because if you keep getting bothered by things that you might find inappropriate but are also a part of reality, then you're gonna end up getting bothered a lot in your life. And the only person who's gonna make you feel that way is yourself.

4. You should always be sure to have a sense of humor about anything that you take seriously. Because of the fact that anything that gets taken seriously is also gonna get joked about by somebody. And the more seriously something gets taken, then the more it's gonna end up getting joked about.

5. God cares more about people making each other laugh rather than what's being said or done to make that happen (in other words, God would focus more on the positive than the negative).

6. If God didn't have a good sense of humor, then none of his creations would have one either.

7. If it's anyone who's gonna give ya the most crap about anything & everything, then it's gonna be the people who love ya the most. And the people who love ya the most are in your family.

8. No matter how bad something in your life gets, there's always gonna be someone out there who has it worse than you do.

9. The more that families love each other, the more crap they're gonna give each other about anything & everything (including teasing & annoying each other).

10. Now last but not least, on raunchy humor. The key word in that topic is HUMOR & not necessarily what kind it is. The only time people should take offense to dirty words & topics is when they're used in an abusive way. If dirty words and/or topics are meant to be in a funny way, then that should be looked at as a positive thing & not negative. Because humor is meant to make people laugh no matter what kind it is.